Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
