Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
