I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
