How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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