Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
