Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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