you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
