apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
