Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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