I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
