All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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