Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize