You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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