so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
