You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
