He uses pillows to masturbate.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
