chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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