I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
