Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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