The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
