i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
