Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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