in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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