I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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