Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
