Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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