The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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