Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
