I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
