Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize