I got chris browned last night
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
