i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
