There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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