so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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