Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
