All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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