the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
