Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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