i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
