No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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