At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She needs sedatives and a leash
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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