Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
soo... how was my night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
