so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
