Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
