There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
