We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize