i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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