I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
