The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize