I want to stick my p in your. b.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So much rum. So many feels.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
