Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
