Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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