I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
