Already got asked if we're dating
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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