Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
