we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
